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[02 May 2006|11:19pm]
[ mood | sore ]

I have a ridiculous amount of respect for Stephen Colbert. Here's a guy who gets invited to speak at the White House Correspondents dinner, in front of a thousand important political figures (and the President as well), and what does he do? He lampoons them all. In his defense, what could they have really expected? It's like inviting someone who repeatedly punches you in the face to dinner. The only thing that's going to change is now he's going to eat your food, and then punch you in the face (or vice versa).

Things have been pretty hectic for me the last few months or so. I got a promotion, so I've actually had to put some effort into my work, as opposed to just going through the motions. It's harder to slack when you only have yourself to blame. I much preferred it when the burden fell on someone else, but the money's much better and the ability to have a weekend off every now and again is also nice.

I'm also in the middle of moving back in with my parents after several years of being away from home. Potion is planning to start school and the fall, and our lease ends this month. With her not working much, money is going to be pretty tight, so it's just more economical this way. Plus if something happens, like getting hurt again, I have some leeway financially. I'm not sure how this is all going to pan out, but I'm hoping for the best. I am blowing about four grand on a new television and surround sound system to help ease the burden, so it isn't all bad.

I also just started softball this week. Right now I have games Mondays and Tuesdays, with Friday's league starting in about a month or so. I'm having to adjust to my limitations because of my injuries this off-season, but it's going fairly well. I'm pitching for the first time in my life (since I can't really run with my "knees" being supported by two braces...EACH!) and it went well. My Monday game was rained out, so I made my debuted tonight, and ended with the final line of: 0 ER 6 K 0 BB (that's no runs, six strikeouts, and no walks for all you non sports nerds out there, and that's pretty good). I was also 3 for 3 at the plate and knocked in three runs. All in all a good start to the season, let's just hope I can keep it up without breaking down.

It's funny to be so brittle at my age. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks, and I know I'm young in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes I just feel so fucking old. I think that starts to kick in when you can legitimately say the phrase "fucking kids these days" and mean it. I'm also in the stage of age where there's nothing to look forward to. I can already see PG, PG-13, R, NC-17, X, XX, XXX rated movies. I can already buy cigarettes, alcohol, lottery tickets, and paint thinner. I get cheap car insurance. Now the only thing I can look forward to is getting my AARP card at 50. Which is ironic in the fact that I more than likely still won't be retired.

Speaking of my Birthday, I'm thinking about having dinner at someplace of Potion's choosing (her birthday's three days before mine) and going out to Big Ten for a little drinking and karaoke. I'm thinking the best day would be Saturday the 20th, since I have that weekend off and it would be a good time to relax with friends after we move all of our stuff that morning. I'll keep you posted with more details once we figure them out.

Fighting for a better perk to getting older,


2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Turd Ferguson. It's a Funny Name. [12 Apr 2006|06:23pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

Too little, too late. Too little, too little? You said it was a good size!Collapse )

2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Inanition [11 Apr 2006|02:25pm]
[ mood | confused ]

"Where'd You Go?" - Fort Minor

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once and a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...
Please come back home...

2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Doc + Marty = Cock Party!!! [04 Apr 2006|05:30pm]

I always knew there was something fishy going on there.
Feel the power of the Darkside

Hope Flies [10 Mar 2006|07:04am]
[ mood | hyper ]

"And the number one way to mispronounce "Kirby Puckett" is... Englepuck Kirbydink." - David Letterman

I was actually very sad when I heard that Kirby died. He was my very first sports hero and the entire reason I started my little league career. I even wore 34 because of him all the way up until my freshman year of high school. I was even fortunate enough to meet him on two separate occasions and got my picture taken with him. He was everything a professional athlete should be.

On a more positive note, me leg seems to be getting better. I went to physical therapy for three days a week for a month, and things are looking better. I went back to work, and even managed to play basketball without needing to be carted off on a stretcher (at least not because of my knee). I'm planning to play softball this year, but will need to be extra careful. Looks like no more outfield for me (too much running), now I'm going to have to pitch. Not really excited about it, but it's a sacrifice I'll be willing to take. I also will have to start wearing a $100 knee brace, but I always say better a knee brace than a knee replace.

I guess the best way to get a promotion at work is to miss a couple of months. I went back to work and got my own route, which means more money and a set work place. My schedule changed so now while I still work in the wee hours of the morn, I work six days on and three off so I can have at least a weekend a month off. I used to have every Wednesday and Thursday off, so I much prefer my new schedule.

I still haven't bought a new television yet. We're moving at the end of May, so I've decided to wait and buy a big screen for the new place. I can't wait. Is is May yet? I'm prepared to spend too. For as much as I use a television (video games, movies, cable) it will be well worth it.

Fighting for a Natalie Portman rap album,


2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

You,all right! I learned it by watching you! [19 Feb 2006|09:48am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

'Cuz all the cool kids are doing it.

Parents who do dorky surveys have kids who do dorky surveysCollapse )

3 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Countdown to :00 [10 Feb 2006|12:30am]
[ mood | blah ]

Is there ever pleasing a cat? Just how clean does it need to be to realize it should stop cleaning itself? It's been three hours, yet he just doesn't seem to ever give up hope that there is indeed a better way to lick yourself clean. Do hairless cats clean themselves this much? I only wish I took that much time on myself.

On a side note: Burritos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as tasty and delicious as it sounds, not a good idea (breakfast was microwaved, lunch was Toxic Hell, and dinner was Chipotle).

It's been almost a month and a half since I have worked. God I never thought it would be this long. Seems that while I have no meniscus tear, I do have the inner knee of a eighty year-old. I started physical therapy, and if all else fails I will have to have surgery. I go back the 22nd to see what I am going to do. They actually would have set up surgery this week, but gave me the option to see if the therapy would help any. I thought it be better to wait and see before removing part of my knee. While my knee will forever be "deformed", therapy may help me strengthen it enough to "lessen" the pain. Where as the surgery will leave me pain free now, but I'd be at greater risk as I get older. It's like deal with pain a little at a time as life goes on, or have none now and a ton later. On top of this if I do have surgery I'll be out for another month. I may not be working until the end of March. Thank god work comp is covering all of this. I'm still not sure about softball this year, but I'm not ready to deal with the thought of that yet.

I just really hope that what ever belief I have (god, karma, destiny, etc...) has released the contents of it's bowels because I seem to be getting shit on quite a bit as of late (or is it shat upon?). From this knee problem (which on top of a thousand things cost me a promotion with about a $15k pay increase), to having issues with getting paychecks (causing my checks to bounce more than a crate of Super Balls falling out of an airplane), to having my fucking television break (just the best thing ever if you sit at home all fucking day), and even having Potions car break down (if you're going to keep ass-fucking me, at least tell me your name). The threat level is currently: Blackwatch Plaid (c. Harvey Birdman).

I've done a few things to brighten my spirits as of late. I drove to Iowa with the Nose to eat at Sonic. For those of you who don't know, it's a fast food restaurant that we have ads for in Minnesota, but I'm not sure why. Fort Dodge, Iowa is the closest one. We took an eight hour trip. If that doesn't say overweight white nerd, then I'll hit you with my Elven warrior I just got out of the latest Magic deck I bought faster than you can say "cure light wounds".

For the record, I never have, and most importantly never will own, play, or even talk about Magic: the Gathering again.

I've also been able to catch up on a bunch of television. The only problem with that is now I'm obsessed with these shows and will have to figure out a way to catch them all when I go back to work. The list of shows I enjoy that I never watched before are: The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Harvey Birdman, The Venture Brothers, ATHF, and Law and Order reruns (Thank you TNT!).

Hopefully things get better soon, because they can't get much worse.

Well...I could be on fire.

Fighting for a flame retardant wardrobe,


9 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Clipped Wing [12 Jan 2006|09:19am]
[ mood | sore ]

Last time on "LifeSaber" - Erroll has discovered the second group of survivors on the island. He begins questioning why the chick that turned into a zombie in "Resident Evil" and the evil drug dealer from "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" are in the group. While helping to plan the rescue of Walt, Erroll finds out he is under investigation from Internal Affairs, headed by Ghost Dog. To escape the interrogation he surely would receive, Erroll steals the Blackbird to take recon photos of the latest Cylon ship. What will happen this week? Stay tuned.

I wish my life really had a "Last time on..." feature. It seems like every show I watch has one these days (Lost, The Shield, Battlestar Galactica,...). It would come in handy if you ever forgot something, or were just to drunk to remember. I'd also love to have the ability to use a "To be continued..." moment in the middle of some shitty situation. It'd give me plenty of time to think how to respond in a cool, TV. like way. It would of came in useful yesterday at the Orthopedist.

I found out I have a torn meniscus in my left knee. When I found out, I didn't have a cool response. It was just more shock than anything. It's not a major injury, but I will need surgery and will miss up to two months of work. I always thought it would be awesome to be getting paid not to work and have nothing to do. After about an minute of being on crutches, in a knee immobilizer, and sitting at home with nothing to do I changed my mind.

Not to mention the fact this may or may not completely fuck up my summer. It's already cost me about a month and a half of exercise, and it's not finished. I just hope I'll be okay to play softball this year, because as much as I love Ron Gardenhire, I really don't want to be him.

They also told me my knee will never be the same. They can't make it better, the can only make it "less bad" as the doc put it. They are going to have to remove a portion of my knee which helps keep the upper and lower leg bones from rubbing, and while there will still be a portion of it left, it won't hold up as long as it normally would. A strong recommendation for all of you who plan to work on your knees in the future: don't.

While it has been slightly fun to be drugged on Viccodin, it hasn't outmatched the suckiness. I also don't recommend taking alcohol when you have about six Viccodin in your system from the last five hours. Bad idea. I had thought they would have worn out by then, but later found out they stay in your system for about twelve hours. As fun as it sounds, don't do it. Trust me.

I've been able to keep myself occupied for the time being. I'm working on my role-playing campaign, playing an old RPG for PS2 (Disgaea), and picking up here and there. It's only a matter of time before I go stir crazy though.

3 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

I'll show you mine if you show me yours. [30 Nov 2005|04:27pm]
[ mood | bored ]


Just to prove that I am really alive, and it's not some evil robot posting as me. Or is that a picture of my evil robot self???

2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Lost but not forgotten [30 Nov 2005|02:51pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all of you still unfortunate enough to have forgotten to take me off your friends list. It is I once again, Silent Bob...er...Erroll. I just wish when I did finally speak up it was meaningful and insightful, instead of this mindless dribble. (Note to self: learn how to be meaningful and insightful.) Anyways, it's been about two months since my last post so that means I should have about two paragraphs worth of stuff to tell you. (While I admit it's kind of sad, it could be worse...I could be on fire.)

The biggest thing that happened to me since my last post was my failed attempt of chicken with a deer. I would of been much better off trying to play deer with a chicken. It happened at 2:30 a.m. as I was on my way to work. (Actually, I was on my way home from work only to go back again because I accidentally left my truck keys at home.) I was grumbling to myself because I was so pissed off. I imagine I looked liked Homer in the opening sequence of the Simpsons when he's digging the Plutonium rod out of his back. All hunched over and pissed off. As I cursed myself out for the thousandth time for being so stupid, I saw three deer standing across the road as if they were forming a Police Blokcade. I was going about sixty at the time (Speed Limit: 50) so I slammed on my brakes. The three ran away, but one of them further out of my original viewing range ran up and I managed to clip it. Being hunched over a steering wheel during an accident isn't so hot on your back when you whiplash back into your seat. I wasn't badly hurt, but I spent a morning in the ER and had to go to Physical Therapy twice a week for the last month to help with the pain. My official diagnosis was a bruised spine. The car also wasn't too bad. The drivers side headlight and hood was smashed in, and I had little bits of fur coming from my hood for a while. It cost just under three grand to fix, and my insurance covered all but five hundred of that. I did manage to have them fix a few things that were broken before the accident, so it wasn't all bad. The lesson learned here - don't forget your fucking truck keys at home when you already made it safely to work once that day.

Work itself has been going rather well. About a month and a half ago they decided that everyone who works a 5/2 schedule (Five days on, two off for all of the uninformed.) would get a third day off. They did this because my two days off a week are Wednesday and Thursday. The two slowest days of the week. The only good thing about having a Thursday off is that I can stay up and watch Lost on Wednesday without having to go to bed directly after. It's also a very slow time of the year for us, so with having a third day off AND it being slow I've been averaging about thirty hours a week for the last month or so. Which is awesome because I'm commissioned and get paid the same no matter how much I work. I also have the most seniority now, which means when a permaninte route opens, I have the first shot at it. I will have to work much harder when that happens, but I can also look forward to a fifteen thousand dollar raise and at least one, if not two, weekend days off each week. I don't remember what that feels like, but I'm looking forward to it.

I'm enjoying my fall and winter time to recover from my maddening season of softball. It kind of frightens me that it starts in four months, but then again I get excited thinking it about it too. In a summer where I only saw a handful of movies, I've seen about a million in the last two months or so. Just off the top of my head I've seen: Jarhead (twice), Walk the Line (twice), HP4, Doom, Saw 2, Just Friends, Serenity (twice), Stay, Get Rich or Die Tryin', among others. That's not including all of the DVD's I bought and watched either. I have a little over four hundred DVD's for those keeping track. I really need a new DVD rack. I've also played a bunch of video games as of late due to the Nose and I's new Wednesday night game night. It's one of my favorite days of the week. We've beaten a video game (or attempted too) each week for the last few months or so. We've beaten games like: Gun, X-Men Legends, X-Men Legends 2, Half-Life 2, 50 Cent: Bulletproof, Guitar Hero, and more. I've just been enjoying my free time much more now that work has calmed down. I just hope it stays this way for a while longer.

Fighting for a better yesterday,


P.S. We will not be playing "Deadwood" this week, being as I actually managed to score Korn tickets at the Myth on Saturday. A concert venue that only holds fifteen HUNDRED people. It's going to fucking rock!

6 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

I am a Leaf on the Wind. See How I Soar. [05 Oct 2005|07:05am]
You scored as Hoban 'Wash' Washburne. The Pilot. You are a leaf on the wind, see how you soar. You have a good job, and a stunning wife who loves you (and can kill people). Life is good, which is why you can't help smiling. Now if you can just get people to actually listen to your opinion things would be perfect.


Hoban 'Wash' Washburne


The Operative


Kaylee Frye


Capt. Mal Reynolds


Zoe Alleyne Washburne


Inara Serra


Shepherd Derrial Book


Simon Tam


River Tam


Jayne Cobb


Which Serenity character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

So I've found three different Serenity Quizes, and on all three I scored 100% Wash without attempting to skew the results. I found that a little eerie, just for the fact that several people have told me I remind them of Wash, and the fact that I dressed up like Wash for the movie.
Feel the power of the Darkside

Before the dark times...before the Empire. [26 Sep 2005|01:42pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm taking a break from working on my time machine to post to all of you who may assume I have perished in some manner or another. The reason for building the time machine is so I can...you guessed it, go back in time. I'm attempting to go back in time to find the "founder" of the "modern" work week in America, and kick him in the balls. How in the blue hell can it be such a wonderful experience to work in Europe and other parts of the world, and so shitty here? I want two months of vacation DAMNNIT!!! Phew...sorry about that. I just needed to vent. So there.

I've been working a whole lot lately. It's not as bad as with my previous company where I would work 80 or 90 hours in a week, I just work really fucking early. I don't quite work overnights, but it may as well be. I generally start anywhere from midnight to three in the morning. This wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that even after seven months of doing this, my body doesn't feel ready to shut itself down until about...ten or eleven in the evening. This makes for one very cranky owl. Now throw in the fact that when next week is through, I will have finished my softball season. Not very impressive, well it wouldn't be if it were my first. The fact of the matter is that when my season ends next week, it will be the...seventh (yes, SEVENTH) softball league that I have finished since April. I know I'm doing all this to myself, but goddamn is it fun doing it. I can honestly say I'm in some of the best shape I've been in since high school, and I can't wait to take a break from it. At least for the winter.

Between softball and work my time is pretty much consumed. With as little as I was on my computer before, it's virtually non-existent now. That, and coupled by the fact that my computer took a bigger shit on me than anyone eating at a Taco Bell Buffet, I rarely find time for anything but checking my Fantasy Football scores. I haven't even had much time for movies lately, but that will change very soon.

I have had time to watch a few things which peaked my interest. I missed the very first episode of Lost last year, and was so upset about it that I refused to watch the show until it came out on DVD. Much to my amazement, I made it the whole year without seeing or hearing anything about it. I just finished watching it a few weeks ago (I managed to watch all twenty-two episodes and ALL of the features in two days) and it fucking rocks. The same goes for Battlestar Galactica. One of my favorite Sci-Fi shows of all time. It ranks up there with Firefly.

Speaking of Firefly, I'm massively bummed out that Potion ISN'T coming with me to the first episode. She had a horse camping excursion planned out for the last five months, and it just happens to fall on that weekend. We were dead serious in going as Zoe and Wash, but now...I don't know. I AM a big enough nerd to dress up by myself, but it just isn't the same. You know? Anyways, I'll still see it, and it will still rock hard tasty abs, washer board style. Only four more days.

The only other thing that's really going on is my attempt to get back into Role-playing again. When I started my new job, I quit role-playing because I needed to attempt to sleep at some point. It wasn't the role-playing I really missed as much as just hanging out with my friends. It's REALLY fucking hard to hang out with people if you work while they're sleeping and vice versa. I could count the number of times on my fingers that I've been able to do something with them. If the sleep wasn't bad enough, try having Wenesday and Thursday as your days off in the week, every week! Unfortunately, that's the case for me until I get my own route. Now I just have to do my time until I get the pay and time off I so richly deserve.

Back to my original point, my friends convinced me to run a game. I'm very excited about it, also extremely nervous. I'm running D&D, which while I've played thousands of times, I never actually ran a game. I'm known as the Star Wars guy, and I'm paranoid that I have three very good DM's playing in my game. Not only that, but I'm using the world that one of them created. I'm also worried because the last game I ran, the players staged a coup without so much as giving me a warning of their discontent. While I just shrugged it off, it honestly hurt my feelings. The other games that were run previous to that were all given suggestions as to how to make the game better, and mine everyone just up and quit. And these are the same people that want me to run a game??? We'll see. I'm also playing with a group of people (nine) that have VERY dissimilar playing styles. Some like a serious game with lots of rules lawyering, some like a very loose and open ended game, some like a high magic world, and some a low magic world where the magic is very limited yet very powerful. Couple all these things together, and you have the possibility for disaster, but we'll see. I'd like the game to go well, but really don't give a fuck because I'm just happy to get to hang out with most of my friends again.

I feel better for getting that off my chest. I think I'll go and try to get a nap in before my next softball game in....two and a half hours.

Fighting for a better softball game,

P.S. - To everyone reading this who I don't see when I'm not looking at a computer monitor, I REALLY miss ALL of you guys too. I hope everyone is doing well, and I do read up on all of you whenever I have the chance. I hope I get a chance to talk to everyone soon.

4 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Siskel and Erroll [07 Jul 2005|09:10am]
[ mood | Botherd by a cat ]

I'm back like a terrorist attack. Only without all of the explosions, deaths, injuries, and news coverage. It's time for another Fly-by with Erroll.

What the fuck is this world coming to? That's the extent of my opinion on the whole terrorism situation. Getting any further into it will only spew forth political tirades which I never get into with anyone, real or imaginary. So let's just leave it at that. I do hope something is resolved with the situation, and I thank God I live in the middle of the U.S., which by all accounts of Hollywood Movies, (ID4, War of the Worlds, Team America, E.T., and Star Wars) tells me I'll be safe while the world around me is blow'ded up.

If anyone has been waiting for my actual opinion on Episode III yet, they'll have to wait. The reason: I have only seen the movie once. The reason behind this is one of my good friends who is as much if not more than a fan than myself is away on military duty. They had a version of the movie in Iraq, but he refused to see it in the thoughts that it would not be the same as seeing it in an actual theater. Last week he came back to Denver where he will watch it once, and then we both made a pact not to see again until we are together. It sounds...strange, but it just wasn't the same without him there. We had seen the last five (the extended versions, not the original three) in the theater together, including seeing Episode I NINE times in a row. Yes, I said it. Nine times. Every showing they had on the opening day, as well as a few the next. I saw it so many times at one point I could tell you how many times each Jedi/Sith clashed lightsabers. It was a little over the top seeing it that many times, but fun nonetheless. So until I see it at least one more time, I can't honestly say. I did like it, but how much will depend on a second or one-hundred and second viewing.

The summer movies so far have been so-so this year. Here's a quick run down of a few:

Batman Begins - Fucking awesome. By far the best of the series. A very dark and violent version which I loved. Christian Bale rocks, and if you haven't seen him in "The Machinist", go buy it right this second.

The Longest Yard - This was pretty funny. A movie that really didn't have to be remade, but a movie that Hollywood execs knew would make pretty good cash (much better than Bewitched at least). You'll like it even more if you're at least familiar with some old school wrestlers and football players. It makes some of the scenes much more hilarious than it would other wise. Where else can you see a 7'1 wrestler talk about how sensitive his nipples are?

Mr. and Mrs. Smith - One of the better "Good-Bad" movies I've seen. The "Good-Bad" movie is another version of a "Junk food" movie, one that holds no cinematic value what so ever, but is fun to watch nevertheless. Seeing the movie also led me to the theory that this movie will get you laid if you bring a date. Why, you ask? The reason being if you watch sexy people doing sexy things for long enough, it will make even the coldest of fish thaw out a little.

War of the Worlds - In real life, I want to do nothing more than to kick Tom Cruise in the teeth. On screen though, I can't help but root for the guy. Say what you want about his degree in psychiatric medicine, the guy can fucking act. The only problem I really had with the movie is the fucking lame-ass disney ending Spielberg seems to put on everything. When am I going to see a movie where everyone dies or at least is crying at the end of a movie? I haven't seen that since...Menace II Society.

Movies I can't wait for yet:

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - I only hope the movie is as creepy as it looks

Night Watch - A horror triloogy that looks insanely strange, which in this case is a good thing.

The Island - Or shall we call it Episode II: Part II?

Serenity - Potion and I loved this show so much, we may dress up and go as Zoe and Wash.

Fighting for a better war on terrorism,


7 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Don't be a Vader-hater [25 May 2005|10:06am]
You scored as Darth Vader.


Darth Vader


Anakin Skywalker


General Grievous


Mace Windu


Emperor Palpatine




Obi Wan Kenobi








Clone Trooper


Padme Amidala


Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com
2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Something Very, Very Wrong [14 May 2005|09:51pm]
I was working today, and from out of now where I started humming something. I hummed it for about an hour and had no friggin' clue what it was. Eventually I figured out that it was Adia by Sarah McLaughlin which is weird for two reasons: A)I don't listen to her or anyone else in her musical genere. 2) Although I have heard the song before, it's been years at least. And then of course, as I have Star Wars on the brain, the words soon changed. Here's "Ani I" as sung by Obi-Wan. Damn I have issues.

Ani I - Weird Owl

Ani I do believe I failed you
Ani I know I let you down
Don’t you know I tried to stop
The Sith’s evil ways
It’s not easy, you should know

Ani I’ve been empty since you’ve left me
trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and the force
to see where you went wrong

I feel Palpatine’s presence linger
I know that he’s to blame
I wasn’t there to talk to Ani
and now you’ve murdered innocents
‘cause you have killed innocents
believe me Ani I, watched your fits
of rage, and now you’ve fallen
and you’re even madder

Ani, Qui-Gon thought that you could make it
I promised him I’d train you as he reeled
in pain and misery
from the hole that was made
from Darth Maul’s saber
I told him you would gain
all of the knowledge and power the Jedi possess
if I could convince Yoda that
you wouldn’t kill innocents
And Ani now, you have killed innocents
I lied to the Jedi Council, but now it doesn’t matter
Because Ani I, know there heads are all split
They’re bleeding, and they’ve all fallen...and now you’re Vader.
2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Eat some ham Tina. GOD!!! [04 May 2005|04:13pm]
On my Tuesday night softball league, we had to come up with a name (We were already established in my Sun, Thur, and Fri Leagues). After hours of pondering names like Bounty Hunters, Burninators, etc..., I called up my friend who is the Captian of the team. "I having trouble thinking of a name." I told him. "Not a problem," he said. "We already got it." "Well..." I asked waiting to here how terrible it would be. "Have you ever seen Napoleon Dynamite?" I immediatly started to chuckle. "Yeah," I answered. "Well, do you remember when Uncle Rico hit Napoleon in the head with a steak?" I started laughing midsentence, as this was one of the funniest parts of the movie. Wether you liked the movie or not, that seen made everyone laugh. "We're going to be called Uncle Rico's Bomber's. The only problem is we need a logo." "Don't worry about that," I told him. I know just the man to call.

One of my good friends B is a graphics design major and obsessed with the movie as well. If there was anyone who could do it, it was him. We talked for a half hour and decided the mascot would be Tina the Llama. Having never being able to see B in the near future because of conflicting schedules and a need for the finished product right away, I put the power in his hands.

He created what may be the most awesome logo in the history of sports, and here it is:

3 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

New "Weird Owl" Song [04 May 2005|03:06pm]
The newest Weird Owl song is "Dark Side Plot", sung to the theme of "Candy Shop" by 50 Cent. It's a duet with Palpatine and Anakin. Don't worry, it doesn't reveal any of the plot of Episode III. On with the show.

Dark Side Plot by Weird Owl

(Chorus - Palpatine and Anakin)


I’ll letcha in on the Dark Side Plot, Keep convincin’ you and won’t stop.
Till’ you kill Obi on the spot, Dark Powers are what you got. Whoa!


I want in on the Dark Side Plot. I want to make the Jedi Rot.
Can't wait to make them all drop. Kill em’ all then I’ll be on top. Whoa!

(Verse 1: Palpatine)

You can have it your way. How do you want it.
You want to kill Obi-Wan or should I put Grevious on it?
Dark Powers rising, okay let’s go to the next level.
Yoda’s damn fast, short stack, small like a teakettle.
I’ll break it down for you know, Ani it’s simple.
Cuz I be a Sith Lord, you be Sith Lord.
On the Senate Floor, or on the top of the Temple.
In a speeder, with your wife, it be as long as you live for.
Got the Red Glow Stick, I’m like an evil Doctor.
Have your friends missing all they limbs I chopped up.
Wanna show me all your powers Ani, no problem.
Get up top, and get to choppin' Jedi like a Dark sider.
I’ve been waiting a while, just to get to this shit.
After you’ve worked up a sweat we’ll get to killing that Kit
Fisto. Ani I always knew that you the man.
After I become the Emperor, you can be my right hand.


(Bridge - Palpatine and Anakin)

Ani, what we do (what we do)
I’m looking forward to (forward to)
Between me and you (me and you)
Can’t wait to kill Plo Kloon (oh yeah)

(Verse 2 - Anakin)

Come over here Obi, nice and slow.
Let’s climb on top of this burning volcano.
You act like you didn’t know about this before.
You a Jedi how you ain’t know about this?
Soon as we get the top we get to pullin’ on a saber.
It’s like it’s a race to see how fast I can be Darth Vader.
Isn’t it ironic to see us use exotic lightsaber fights for so long,
and in twenty years when we meet all that memory is gone
I been wanting this for a long time.
Lightsabers on and I attack you from behind.
Dark side’s so seductive, I use it all the time.
Our Blades in slow-mo on the lava flow while we grind.
As long as you ain’t stoppin’, Obi I ain’t stoppin.
Dripping wet with sweat, I wish the Emp was here watchin.
On my rampage campaign, swing after swing it’s on.
Can't wait to fight in twenty years when I hit you and you’re gone.

(Chorus x 2)
2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Episode III: Return of the Myth [04 May 2005|10:54am]
"Because Lois, Christians don't believe in gravity." - Peter Griffin, "Family Guy", on how he tricked Mel Gibson into walking off the top of Mount Rushmore.

Happy late May Day and pre-Cinco de Mayo to all. I'm convinced in the next twenty years or so every day is going to be a holiday. Happy Getting out of bed Day or Punch your neighbor day are sure to be around the corner. If I were only some sort of hybrid human being who could actually get all of these holidays off, I would work about three months a year. "Yes sir, I really am Christian/Jewish/Muslim/Father/Mother/Grandparent/Secretary/Hispanic/African/Asian/Child/President/Laborer/May. Do you have a problem with that?"

Things are going pretty well for me. I quit my job at Precision Tune at the end of February. I think I just got tired of dealing with cars and sitting on my ass all day. I never thought I would actually get tired of sitting and playing on the computer all day, but losing the ability to see my feet when I look down started to be...bothersome. Just kidding, I wasn't really that big. But seriously, I was pretty big.

I have been working at Frito-Lay for the past two months. I'm a "Route Sales Representative" which basically means I deliver/stock/sell chips. It's pretty sweet so far. Now you would think, "Potato Chips, that's got to be the easiest job in the world?" but you couldn't be further from the truth. I lost thirteen pounds in two weeks doing this, without changing a thing I eat. This is the most physically demanding jobs I've ever had. I was talking to someone about the disbelief I was having over how difficult the job was, and he broke it down like this: Each box of chips weights anywhere from five to ten pounds. On average, you deliver 100-200 boxes per store. On average, you also deliver to three stores a day. And finally, you lift every box three separate times: Onto the truck, Out of the truck, and onto the shelf. Needless to say, I'm in about the best shape of my life since playing football in high school. Throw in work, and the fact that I play softball 4 nights a week, and you have a very active Erroll.

Speaking of an active me, here's a pic of me playing with my new camera phone:


Anyways...things are going well otherwise. I'm totally pumped about seeing Episode III in 15 days. I don't care what all the whiny bitches say, it's going to rock. I read the book, which is an accomplishment in itself, and thought it was wicked. I only hope the movie is as good as the book, although I have a strange suspicion I may be let down a bit. Not by the movie, but the fact that it may leave out some of the things I love about the book. We'll see. I understand Lucas is a terrible director and all, but for all of his shit ideas, he really does have some genius ones as well. I was never able to understand why everyone was so upset to see Yoda kicking so much ass, although after reading the third book, I'm pissed about it in Episode II because there were much more dramatic opportunities to show it, which are now lost because of his over-aggressiveness to show it. Oh well, it will still kick ass nonetheless. For my birthday party I'm having dinner with about twenty of my friends, and then going to see the midnight showing of the movie. If you live in or are going to be in the Twin Cities area May 18th, 2005, you should come. Contact myself or the Nose for further details.

Fighting for a better yesterday,

2 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

Down the Hatch [17 Mar 2005|09:36pm]
Congratulations! You're 111 proof, with specific scores in beer (140) , wine (50), and liquor (60).
Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 15% on proof

You scored higher than 99% on beer index

You scored higher than 85% on wine index

You scored higher than 85% on liquor index
Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on Ok Cupid
3 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

O.W.O.L. [10 Feb 2005|02:57pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

In a stunning move that occurred just moments ago, the sovereign nation of Erroll has made it's first public statement this year, admitting that they really do exist. While many countries had believed for quite sometime that the nation existed, Erroll refused to admit it. Erroll had this to say in the statement: "While we do admit to existing, we refute the right to give up our existence on the fear of the U.S. government coming to overrun us." It was not made clear if Erroll will join the Six Party talks with the rest of the nations. The Six Party discussion was designed by the U.S. to talk other countries out of their existances to make the world a better place. We'll let you know more on this breaking story as it occurs.

3 turned| Feel the power of the Darkside

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